Fools rush in
by Alt-format
Summary: Knock Out and Breakdown get into a prank war, Soundwave doesn't get paid enough, and Starscream learns the horrors of pink paint. Just some randomness for April fools.


**Author's note**

**This story is not intended to make sense, only to be humorous. I wrote it as a April fools day special.**

**I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!**

**Constructive criticism is highly appreciated!**

**Section one- intro**

Knock Out lay upside down on his berth, head hanging over the edge, absently kicking the wall. "Nothing has happened in the past three weeks!" He threw his arms into the air to emphasize his point, then let them drop back across the edge of the berth. "There's nothing to do; even the street races are nonexistent."

Breakdown sat on his berth on the opposite side of their small shared quarters, chin resting on his hand, watching his partner's feet rhythmically hitting the wall. His faceplate held the same bored expression as Knock Out's. "I'm sure we can find something."

Knock Out's optics lit up. "We could have a prank war!"

"A what?"

"A prank war! We pull practical jokes on each other and when we get bored of it we decide who had the better pranks!"

"Hmm."

"All in good humour."

"Of course."

**Section two- Knock Out's first prank**

Breakdown had been sent out on patrol; for what purpose, he did not know. The Nemesis was airborne, the last he checked the cloaking device was still active, and he was certain that Soundwave's scanners would be able to detect more than he could. And yet, here he was on a back road in the middle of nowhere, scanners not picking up even the smallest sign of life, save for the occasional tree or bush.

He hit 40 MPH and a soft, eerie howling emanated from somewhere in front of him. He hit his brakes, and the sound stopped. He transformed and slowly turned in a circle, cautiously scanning his surroundings for any sign of a threat.

There was nothing.

"Primus," he muttered, "why am I so jumpy today?" He transformed back to his alt-form and continued his patrol.

The sound started again. "What the scrap is that?!"

When he returned to base and asked Knock Out if something was wrong with him, his partner just smirked. "What are you hiding, Knock Out?"

Knock Out started to laugh, but still didn't answer.

"Tell me!"

"I stuck a harmonica in your grill; that's what the noise was!"

The prank war had begun.

**Section three- Breakdown's first prank**

Breakdown had been watching Knock Out for the past two hours. His partner was parked in his alt-form on the roof of the Nemesis, and Breakdown knew that he must have been recharging by then. He smirked when the red mech didn't acknowledge his presence as he carefully pushed a package of paint markers under his windshield wipers. He hid in the nearest doorway to watch, knowing that the dark clouds ahead signaled an upcoming storm.

Knock Out woke to the rain pounding against his hood. "Oh, scrap…"

Breakdown slapped his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter when Knock Out's windshield wipers activated, smearing paint across the tinted window.

Knock Out's screech of rage mixed with the squealing of his tires against the smooth metal of the Nemesis' landing pad. Once inside, he transformed and stomped over to Breakdown, glaring at the larger blue bot. "You did this?!"

"Sorry, Knock Out," Breakdown managed to say between giggles.

"You're going to have to clean this up."

"I know."

**Section four- Knock Out's second prank**

Breakdown's optics widened when he walked into his berthroom. "Scraplets!"

His berth -his entire half of the room, in fact- was covered in metallic grey balls that looked ominously like the Cybertronian carnivores.

The door slid shut, and the mound of spheres shifted slightly. Breakdown took a single step back before hitting the door, optic twitching. "Primus… no…"

He shrieked uncharacteristically as the mound erupted towards him…

…And Knock Out sprang onto his chest, laughing maniacally.

"You should've seen your face!" the medic screeched into Breakdown's face. "It was priceless!"

"Knock Out?!" Breakdown collapsed, intakes heaving in panic. "Primus… I thought you were a Scraplet that was going to eat me!"

**Section five- Breakdown's second prank**

Breakdown stepped back to admire his handiwork, smirking. Oil over the door was the oldest trick in the book, yes, but that didn't make it any less effective. He settled himself onto a chair to wait for Knock Out to come in, rubbing his hands together in gleeful anticipation.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door slid open, the bucket of oil upturning over the unfortunate visitor's head with a satisfying splash.

**Section six- Soundwave doesn't get paid enough for this**

Soundwave stood shocked in the med bay doorway, oil dripping down his thin frame. A green light flashed across his visor, obscured by the oil, before he slowly raised a claw and scraped it clean.

Breakdown could almost feel the communications officer's glare burning holes in his chassis despite his lack of visible optics.

Soundwave's shoulders sagged almost unnoticeably before straightening out. Ten seconds later he was directly in front of Breakdown, the larger mech disconcerted by his sudden close proximity.

Breakdown found himself staring straight into Soundwave's visor, trying to hide how much the smaller blue bot scared him -Soundwave was creepy enough from a distance, but he was downright terrifying if he chose to get anywhere near you. "I'm s-sorry, Soundwave, i-it was just a prank, not intended for you!"

Soundwave nodded slowly, but he didn't understand the point of this prank. To him, it was simply a waste of perfectly good oil.

The door slid open again, and Knock Out yelped in surprise as he slid on the pool of oil and into the two equally shocked occupants of the room. They all slammed into the wall, landing in a moaning heap of tangled limbs.

Soundwave easily slipped out from beneath the other two mechs, and stood staring coldly down at them before shaking his head, turning, and leaving.

He didn't get paid enough to deal with this.

**Section seven- the war is called off**

Knock Out and Breakdown were seated facing each other, having finished cleaning up the spilled oil. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Breaky…"

"Then maybe we should stop," Breakdown suggested.

"…But it's fun…" Knock Out sighed.

Breakdown frowned thoughtfully. "I may have an idea…"

**Section eight- Starscream learns the horrors of pink paint**

Starscream woke the next morning, stretching sleepily. His wings fluttered slightly behind him, and he jumped when something brightly colored splatted against the wall beside him. He stared at the paint splattered across his wall, then slowly looked down at himself.

He was covered in pink paint.

"What?!" he shrieked, jumping up to see that his berth had splotches of paint all over it as well. "Who painted me?!"

He stomped to the door, pink footprints staining the floor in his wake. The keypad lock also gained a new partial paintjob as he angrily jabbed the pass code into it.

The door slowly slid open, hesitant to expose the rest of the warship to the second in command's wrath.

Starscream trudged through the hall, growling at a passing Vehicon who had started snickering quietly.

He burst into the control room, much to the shock of Megatron, Soundwave, and a number of Vehicons. He quickly scanned the room, frame quivering with barely suppressed rage, and slowly raised a single claw to point accusingly in the general direction of the front of the room.

"Whoever did this," he snarled, voice deceptively calm, "is going. To.** Die**!"

**Bonus- deleted scene**

A soft whirring sound reached Starscream's audio receptors, and he turned, wide optic-ed, to the small white, red, and blue medi-drone approaching him. He stared at the much smaller bot hovering in front of him, tiny helicopter-esque rotors spinning disconcertingly close to his face. "Stay away from me," he warned.

"Safelight repair, Safelight replace?" the medi-drone chittered hopefully.

"No! Stay away!" Starscream tried to bat the smaller bot away to no avail.

"Safelight repair, Safelight replace!" Safelight repeated, forcefully this time.

"No!" Starscream dashed towards the door. "I am your superior officer. I'm commanding you to stay away!"

Safelight continued to follow the seeker, chittering happily.

"No!" Sto-" Starscream ran straight into the door, giving a small whimper before collapsing to the floor, unconscious.

A bright pink, vaguely Starscream-shaped paint splatter remained on the door.

**Author's note**

**An image of Safelight can be found here.**


End file.
